In order to get a better understanding of how I am meant to write my own personal study, I read through Shannon O’Donnell’s personal study ‘Shrinking Violet’, which aims to challenge the perceived role of women in a western society. As of now, I do not know what the theme of my personal study will be, so I may or may not consider this as a theme for when I do create my own personal study.
Does the essay address its hypothesis?
O’Donnell’s essay very clearly addresses their hypothesis, as they clearly mention, and link to, Claude Cahun and Cindy Sherman’s work throughout, as well as linking them to the theme of gender politics and female stereotypes as outlined by the hypothesis.
Does it provide new knowledge and understanding?
The essay provides a large amount of context into feminism, its role and history, as well as Cahun and Sherman as artists and feminists, without swaying from the subject of the hypothesis.
Is the essay well structured with a sense of an introduction, paragraphs and a conclusion?
O’Donnell’s essay is very clearly structured, it has a clear introduction that explains the main points of her essay before they go into further detail, the paragraphs are clearly separated and informative and the conclusion offers the main point of the essay with links to the hypothesis.
Use and flow of language, prose, punctuation, spelling.
The use of language and grammar in this essay is very clear and portrays O’Donnell’s points very clearly.
Use of specialist vocabulary relating to art and photography.
There is some usage of specialist vocabulary which O’Donnell uses in order to point out how the photograph/painting portrays women and/or gender stereotypes.
Analysis of artist’s oeuvre (body of work) and key work(s).
O’Donnell’s main images (from the photobook tied to the personal study essay) clearly link to the theme of the essay, and also matches the style of Cahun and Sherman’s work, suggesting they stuck close to the ideas presented in the essay.
Evidence of wider reading with reference to art history/ theory, political discourse and/or socio-economical context.
O’Donnell links her points to historical events and figures, such as the suffragettes, Claude Cahun’s activism during Jersey’s occupation, as well as the traditional perception of women’s role in society.
Use of direct quotes, summary or commentary from others to make an informed and critical argument.
O’Donnell clearly uses several quotes from both artists mentioned in the hypothesis, as well as from other appropriate persons, to strengthen her main points.
Use of referencing system (eg. Harvard) and a bibliography.
The essay does not include a bibliography (on the same document(s) as the essay is shown on), however it does include suitable footnoting.
Use of illustrations with captions listing name of artist, title of work and year of production.
O’Donnell’s essay does include images portraying her point(s) and selected images from the artists chosen all with captions.
Marking the Personal Study
In order to get a better understanding of how the mark scheme works and how to apply it to a body of work, I marked O’Donnell’s personal study.
After reading and reviewing O’Donnell’s personal study, I can safely say that the marks would be within the Level 6 range (16-18), as they can clearly communicate their point using specialist art/photography terminology that expresses complex ideas. O’Donnell’s response is clearly well thought out, personal and meaningful response. I would give it a 17/18 for the personal study