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A.D.H.D.

“Attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD) affects children and teens and can continue into adulthood. ADHD is the most commonly diagnosed mental disorder of children. Children with ADHD may be hyperactive and unable control their impulses. Or they may have trouble paying attention. These behaviors interfere with school and home life.” – https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd#1

What Goes On in the Brain

Studies show that brain chemicals, called neurotransmitters, don’t work the same in children and adults with ADHD. There also tend to be differences in the way nerve pathways work. – neurotransmitters = the brain chemicals that communicate information throughout our brain and body

Certain parts of the brain may be less active or smaller in children with ADHD than those without the disorder.

The brain chemical dopamine may also play a role. It carries signals between nerves in the brain and is linked to movement, sleep, mood, attention, and learning.

Image result for neurotransmitters brain dopamine

How can ADHD affect the family?

  • School age children

    Children of school age may have difficulties at home or on outings with their caregivers. Acting up when shopping, out in the park, or visiting other family members tend to become more apparent at this age. Parents of school age children with ADHD have little time to themselves. Whenever the child is awake, the parents have to be watching them. Parents may find that family members refuse to care for the child, and that other children do not invite them to parties or out to play. – http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/ResourceCentres/ADHD/TreatmentofADHD/ADHDandtheFamily/Pages/default.aspx

  • This (ADHD) often requires that more time, logistics and energy be spent. It is not surprising that these increased demands are frequently associated with more stress in marital and family functioning. The financial burden of treating ADHD and its associated psychiatric disorders can add to these difficulties. – https://www.myvmc.com/lifestyles/the-family-impact-of-attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/

 

ADHD has a significant impact on the siblings of children who have the condition. One study found that 10 of the 13 siblings (brothers and sisters) interviewed thought they were “severely and negatively” affected by living with a sibling who had ADHD. This study found the most significant problem identified by siblings was the disruption caused by the behaviour of the child with the condition.Examples of this disruptive behaviour included physical and verbal aggression, out-of-control hyperactivity, emotional and social immaturity, academic underachievement and learning problems, family conflicts, poor peer relationships, and difficult relationships with extended family.

Siblings described their family life as “chaotic”, “exhausting”, and “focused on their sibling”. Siblings described “never knowing what to expect next” and that they did not expect an end point to the impact of ADHD on their lives.

Siblings of children with ADHD experienced the disruptive effects of the condition in three ways: victimisation, caretaking and feelings of sorrow and loss. Siblings reported feeling victimised through physical violence, verbal aggression and manipulative and controlling behaviour. Many siblings felt unprotected by their parents who were perceived as too exhausted or overwhelmed to intervene.

Moving forward, as well as undergo numerous photo shoots, I wish to start the construction of my Personal Study based essay on which I will be focusing on illness and how it inspires people to document their own story or account as a mechanism of healing. Personally, photographing and perhaps writing the ordeals I experienced as a child will help me forgive and forget the different sorts of pain I felt and most importantly, aid Noah’s experience.

 

My Inspirations + Linking to my Project

Below are all my inspirations I have taken for my ongoing project based around the theme of relationship within my life and how the prominent event being my mum and dad’s divorce when I was 4 years old has shaped my life.

The artists and their projects shown below have attracted me and encouraged me to take inspiration from them because the images themselves are very poetic and conceptual and I they follow a style of imagery I wish to create. As well, the contexts of some of the images from the artists projects relate to that of my own – for example, Alec Soth’s project ‘Looking For Love’ looks at the search for love through the eye and the heart. All of the images below, in some way, encapsulate the idea of relationships and attachment or detachment love causes – Yoshikatsu Fujii’s project ‘Red String’ looks at his mother and fathers divorce and tells a narrative from two perspectives. As well, projects like ‘Josephine’ and ‘The Notion of Family’ looks at relationships between family members and how cohesive or damaging this may be.

I will also be using the research constructed from this task to help me produce the starting points for my personal study. From the research carried out on the artists below, I will be able to use this to generate more observations on their work, in particular , two artists of my choice rot help me begin my study inn which I will have to choose a question to answer based on the comparison of two photographers. I will most likely choose Matt Eich and Yohsikatsu Fujii or Matt Eich and LaToya Ruby Frazier.

Matt Eich - 'I Love You, I'm Leaving'

(website)

“I Love You, I’m Leaving is my meditation on familial bonds, longing, and memory. The series borrows from personal experience and the visual language of the everyday in order to create a fictional account that mirrors my reality. Made during a time of personal domestic unease, I photographed as my parents separated, and my family moved to a new city.”

– Matt Eich

When I first encountered this project by Matt Eich which encapsulates the difficult and uneasing event of his parents after 33 years of marriage, separating and whilst this is occurring, he captures the process of his own family moving into a new city and leaving his parents suffer the grief of a separation lonesomely. The images themselves attracted me due to their pure poetic nature., They are very delicate and speak through the composition and framing of each subject. Every image is set-up perfectly and presented in such a way that a story as well as emotions can easily be derived from the visuals included in the project.

Each image is taken in black and white and this is something that although can be quite difficult due to the heavy focus on lighting, tones and shadows to create atmosphere and mood, Eich has pulled off very well and the primary focus on greys and neutral tones over the heavy contrasts makes for very visually stunning images. They look as if they have a glow and they look very heavily in a way that we can understand the relationships Eich wants to show and how in the most of his parents’ divorce, he can find a sense of happiness and togetherness in his own family bonds of his wife and kids as they begin a new life in a new location.

Eich plays with close-ups of still life and nature to provide a different view from the portraits and candid moments he captures of life ta home with his family. Below is an image of, what looks like his wife, cutting his hair in the garden as his children play and pose for the camera. The side profiles of both Eich and his wife play very important roles in showing their important within this family circle. In opposition to this, from the children’s role in the image, we can see that they are playful and are looking to have fun on this summer’s day as they find ways to interact with the camera in between their moments of play. Furthermore, the image is very well composed and framed,m like I said. All the family is included in the mage, amazing it very difficult to capture but Eich has created a perfect image to lead the audiences eyes through each subject one by one as a curve from the heights of each subject is framed from the bottom left corner of the image to the far right of the image.

Without using Eich an inspiration, I create a very similar image in my photoshoot completed with my mum and girlfriend in which my girlfriend is cutting my mum’s hair. It was a few weeks ago that I did this as my girlfriend was asked by my mum to cut her hair as she is a training hairdresser and I thought this would perfect to show my own familial bonds and relationship as well as cohesion in my fmaily. The images I will be using from this shoot is an image I created using a reflection of a glass door and the aftermath of my mum’s hair being cut – a partly blurred image of the hair on the kitchen door. This rpresnsts the idea of a detachment from something you have created an attachment with. My mum has lost her hair and can be seen as a metaphor for losing something more real and much more influential on her life – the divorce. It is, in a way, showing the removal of an identity that my mum has built over many years as she has grown her hair but at some point, has to lose.

Image result for matt eich i love you i'm leaving

As well, Eich attempts to enhance through his photography by photographing his closest loved ones in their most intriguing forms, but as well, he photographs then in their most rawest beings to show life’s actuality and although it is an enhancement of family life in some way as it presented in a frame to look very aesthetically  pleasing, the subjects are documented very informally yet poetically. Eich uses all his family and the relationship he has with these family members in his imagery to create a narrative but also uses environments as a way to respond to family life. I will be doing this throughout my own project where I photograph my closet to me to show, from the centralised view of myself, the relationship I have and how they may look and differ to that of my parents when they were younger and believed they would be with each other an eternity. I will be using, like Eich, metaphors of reality through, what many seem like an irrelevant image at face value.

Eich says that he wishes to show the fragility of memory but how it is paramount for collectives, as a unity to “wrestle these into a permanent state” in order for you as the collective to understand your place in this world because, according to Eich, it is “tenuous” This can insinuate that the world being very fast-moving and with its ability to be hurtful in its unfiltered system, families need to work together to create a safe and comfortable to place to remain in order acknowledge your important presence as this state you may find yourself in is very fragile and can be easily broken. I can connect with this statement very well and believe it will resonate in my own work.

Yoshikatsu Fujii - 'Red String'

(website)

“I received a text message. “Today, our divorce was finalized.” The message from my mother was written simply, even though she usually sends me messages with many pictures and symbols. 
I remember that I didn’t feel any particular emotion, except that the time had come. 
Because my parents continued to live apart in the same house for a long time, their relationship gently came to an end over the years. It was no wonder that a draft blowing between the two could completely break the family at any time.

In Japan, legend has it that a man and woman who are predestined to meet have been tied at the little finger by an invisible red string since the time they were born. 
Unfortunately, the red string tying my parents undone, broke, or perhaps was never even tied to begin with. But if the two had never met, I would never have been born into this world. If anything, you might say that there is an unbreakable red string of fate between parent and child.”

– Yoshikatsu Fujii

My observations into Yoshikatsu Fujii’s work will help me carry out a more accurate and detailed, as well as cohesive and creative study into my parents divorce as a starting point for my project. I camera cross this artists when I became set on using the divorce of parents when I was younger as a starting point to allow me generate more ideas in terms of relationships within my life. The book that Fujii has produced looking at the life his parents once lead in comparison to now is amazing and I took an instant attraction to its form because of the handmade nature of it – because it was handmade with such care, it is much more original and authentic. The pages are much more than just paper with digital photos printed don them. Within the book, there are manually glued images onto old photo paper as well the use of red tape and red string to hold other aspects of what was inside the book together – this also has a relation to the meaning of the title – Red String – being this notion that a man and a women from birth are predestined to meet some day down the line of their life and an invisible red string would tie them together for an eternity.

In his project looking at a very uneasy subject to cover, Fujii uses both black and white imagery as well colour and photo montage as shown below. The most-part of his book is made of archival imagery taken from when his mother and father were together and from times when they would go out on day outs as a whole including Fujii as a child. He has centered the project around himself so that all products link back to him and how it has affected him but also telling a story about both of his parents and the different experiences he may have had with them separately – something I would like to present in my study – due to the break up being when I much younger – at 4 years of age – I have grown up, for 13 years with my parents being part from each other from the 4 years they were together when I was in the family also, I only remember every little details of this time and the majority of my upbringing has been nurtured form two different perspectives – when I was with my um during the week, I would follow her house rules and do activities with her and when I was at my dad’s on a Wednesday evening and a Saturday night/Sunday morning, I would have a different experience with him and do other activities, such as playing footie at the park with him. It is important for me to reminisce on these two different experiences.

Fujii captures still image of several documents culture together scattered across a table – these could perhaps be the divorce papers or papers from the process of the divorce occurring.

He also uses archival imagery from old photo albums to show a true representation of what their tight-knit community used to look like when together as a family. It shows them having fun and enjoying houselife but perhaps behind this, a deeper meaning lurks – in the two images below we see Fujii and his two other siblings as well as his mother and father in the frame on both occasions. Each fmaily member expresses the fun they are having through smiling or pulling funny faces for the camera but in the background of each image, the dad lurks, often unaware of the camera – he looks quite dislocated form the family as he stands behind, awkwardly resting on the chair as if he doesn’t want to be there. As well, he is the only one who does not smile in either of the photographs. Could this have been the time where moments in the house were at their  worst but everyone else tried to disguise this through laughter?

In this fragmented picture of both Fujji’s mother and father on what seems to be their wedding day, he has contrasted this image with another, more modern and current image of his mother on the beach and it used to complete the image. Something interesting about the image is that the photo of them both dressed up  was taken in a studio by the looks of things and this was a common method and a style of wedding portraiture in the nineteenth century – where couples would go to a professional portrait studio to be photographed before their wedding in order to document the marriage. In the current day, wedding imagery has become much more informal and encapsulates moments in time achieved through candid images due to the more advanced camera technology.

Alec Soth - 'Looking For Love'

(website)

“Love makes people do strange things. The history of mankind is rife with love producing illogical and oddball behavior. When it comes to photography, falling in love with the medium is hardly an exception. For example, someone painfully shy might find themselves impulsively photographing strangers without asking for permission. Or, they instinctively photograph something without any ability to later explain why. Alec Soth’s newest book Looking for Love, 1996 is, in its way, about both—the search for love guided by the heart and the search of love guided by the eye.”

– Time Magazine on ‘Looking For Love’

Alec Soth’s work has had a huge influence on other like-minded artists in the industry due to it’s ability to speak out about real-life events in such detail a depict both people and environments in their most true form – again, his style of work is very elegant and poetical – a theme and approach I am focusing on heavily in my selection of artists to take inspiration from as I wish for my own project to look like a visual poem which represent a journey through my life.

In particular, I will be looking briefly at Alec Soth’s project ‘Looking For Love’ whilst focusing my thoughts more so on similar artist like Matt Eich.

Soth, a Minnesota native, came to national attention in 2004 after his project Sleeping by the Mississippi was featured at the Whitney museum during its Biennial exhibition and consequently released in book form by the prestigious German publisher Steidl to critical acclaim. ‘Looking for Love’ was released in 1996 and he writes of imagining one day “a stranger would fall in love with me.”

The first photographs of couples we encounter in ‘Looking for Love’ cling possessively to their partners and gaze intensely at Soth’s camera as if to ask, “this is mine, where is yours?”. This photographic exploration reveals to us in hi journey, the outside landscape and various social gatherings—a particular bar; a convention hall that seems to bridge religion, spirituality and dating under one roof; poker games; singles parties; high school proms – all in which, we discover an element of love and attachment whether that be romantically and verging erotic as we see an image in which a high-school cheerleader leans in for a kiss with another of her same gender or whether this be on the basis of friendship as we see various shots in bars and clubs in which two characters are sat side by side, without interaction, yet still possessing some element of the ‘search for love’. We as the audience encounter moments of joy and laughter – that whether young or old, the ability to enjoy yourself and “let-go” and be free is still possible and all it takes is ‘love’ – it is a strong yet odd being and rules many lives. Love has the ability to pull people together as a community yet distance people from the ones they love the most. It is complicated but most importantly, the participants within feeling loved are happy because the intimacy and knowledge of having love surrounding you can define a person’s mood and life which in its own rights can be a positive thing as well as a negative thing.

Images like the above are what I wish to take inspiration from for my project looking at my relationship with my girlfriend. In these intimate and personal photographs I will be including myself. I hope to show the pure rawness of a relationship by being direct in how an image is composed – whether that be an image of us both sat on the bed looking int camera or an mage of us hugging intensely as the camera documents this. Images like these will be staged and will most likely be in black and white but then I also hope to create images that are more documentary style where I am capturing a moment in time of both of us being natural and these may be in colour and most likely taken on a 35mm film camera.

Soth has attempted to capture the aspect of being in groups or in two’s and this very much reiterates the idea of a community being a strong cohesive form. He captures groups of friends in their moments of obliviousness where they do not acknowledge the camera is documenting them and this makes for a “fly-on-the-wall” affect where the audience feel as though they are getting an insight into the lives of people in love – as though they shouldn’t be because it is such a personal thing that is best experienced within the participants. Myself and Lucy do show public affection but not often and limit this to hugging/holding hands/kissing on the cheek etc. and so I will attempt to show the more intimate and playful relationship we lead at home in a more natural environment where feel comfortable so the true representation of our relationship is presented. I will attempt to present a contrast of mine and Lucy’s playful and fun-filled, quite childish relationship against that of my mum and dad’s divorce but there will also be elements of similarities because I have come across old images of my mum and dad together in my dad’s room where they are on the bed taking photos of one another with my dad’s surfing poster’s in the background on his walls. However, because a relationship is meant to to be a quite secretive and internal thing within the participants, this is when the subjects involved feel most comfortable when they are with juts their partner where they feel they can open up about anything and can talk about anything – to just be themselves – and this is how both Lucy and I feel and at moments, we may both feel vulnerable in the relationship we are in because we put our trust in their being. There is definitely a sense of feeling fragile and sensitive at times and this will be important to also show – which is why I want to include myself in the images to present this sense of fragility and vulnerability – especially in myself because I know that I am a sensitive person and can get easily upset and annoyed – something that I can admit and men tend to wish to not say or reveal about themselves bit feel comfortable doing this in my relationship so feel it important to show it.

LaToya Ruby Frazier - 'The Notion Of Family'

(website)

“The Notion of Family, offers an incisive exploration of the legacy of racism and economic decline in America’s small towns, as embodied by her hometown of Braddock, Pennsylvania. The work also considers the impact of that decline on the community and on her family, creating a statement both personal and truly political— an intervention in the histories and narratives of the region. Frazier has compellingly set her story of three generations—her Grandma Ruby, her mother, and herself”

– Aperture on ‘The Notion Of Family’ 

LaToya Ruby Frazier exploration into the town she lives in and its culture and the people within this tight-knit community, especially her family, is a project that is very powerful and addressees a range of issues for the audience to get a very incisive insight into the community of Braddock and America’s legacy of racism and the decline in economy.

Out of all my other chosen artists, I would say that Frazier’s work is the most well composed as a whole – it is the most powerful due to the subject matter and this is aided by how Frazier has the ability to construct an image so thoughtfully and artistically to produce a product that has had such an impact on the people of the location focused on in the series.

The image below frames both Frazier as a teenager in 2008 with her mother. It shows her mother from a side profile and Frazier in the background, yet in focus. Behind her mother as they are both sat on the edge of a bed, Frazier looks deeply at her mum’s face as the mother looks down at the floor. It is an image which can be interpreted in so many different ways – a wonderful aspect of this project, however, most images provide a direct explanation for the audience to unpick. The image below, however, is more difficult to decode because we do not know the context of the image and we are not aware of the relationship between Frazier and her mother – whether it is stable or hampered  by the racist merry-go-round which makes it way round the town they live in, haunting the people of black origins. The emotion shown below is very serious and we can get a sense that something does not sit well within this household.

It is as though Frazier is gazing deeply at her mother to attempt to get her attention, however, her mother, the older, more prominent figure in the household fails to acknowledged this cry for possible help that Frazier is calling for in both of the times of need. They both seem very vulnerable and this is displayed both in their body posture and facial expressions – slouched and a blank face – as though there is an empty space within their relationship.

The way the image is composed, like I mentioned before is what makes this photograph so strong because there is clear thought that has gone into composing and framing the image. Frazier’s face, which we only see half of, completes the other half of her mother’s face – the side profile of he mother’s face presents her as more powerful however, yet the ability to see, front-on, Frazier’s facial expressions allows us to understand her silent cry for help as she looks deeply at her mother but fails to catch the attention of her.

Image result for latoya ruby frazier the notion of family

Another aspect of Frazier’s work is that it is captured mostly within her household to show the breakdown of her family from the inside. The house may be where the abuse and discomfort within their community originates from because this is where their family are held together and the home could be metaphorically shown as a place of unrest – where you are trapped and can’t escape, particularly in Frazier’s case.

The image below is also another of Frazier’s strongest images as it shows a clear division between herself and what looks like her other’s new partner, as I believe Frazier lacks  father figure in her life and her other has in fact moved on begun new life with a new man – of which Frazier did not approve of. This is shown quite clearly how the image below is composed. On the left we see this masculine figure lying on the bed in his room, and on the right is Frazier, sat rather awkwardly on the edge of bed, again, slouched and in her lounger. The two are divided by a wall which separates their two rooms and the doors that are both open is what frames the two sides. The dislike Frazier shows for this man is shown clearly, again in her posture. She has her back to the man and he as well has his back to her. I would imagine that Frazier found her step-dad lying lie this coincidentally and decided she would frame herself in the image also to show her dislike for him.

The man is also wearing a vest which reads “THE SMOOTH EDGE” on the back and we get a sense that this may be an oxymoron or rather ironic because he most likely does not act like what we would envisage “the smooth edge” to. He seems as though he may the division between Frazier ad his mother; in that he causes a certain friction within the house that presents him more so as a “rough edge” – not the intermediary figure of the house. This is quite ironic but then again, this juts me making assumptions and decoding the image how I see fit.

Image result for latoya ruby frazier the notion of family

Image result for latoya ruby frazier the notion of family

Frazier, as well as Fujii, uses passages of text in her photo-book to accompany her images and the images shown above is accompanied by a poem written by Frazier. The concept of using short passages of text, even a sentence, constructed by myself attempting to express what is shown visually or taken from a statement made by one of subjects of the book, is something I would really like to incorporate into my photo-book because it adds another function to the book and adds another aspect of depth and character to enhance the impact the book can have. Fujii uses short sentences transcribed from messages his mum and dad sent when their divorce was finalized and the impact is very powerful because it allows the audience to relate and engage themselves within the concept more.

Image result for latoya ruby frazier the notion of family

Arno Brignon - 'Josephine'

(website)

“July 1, 2009, birth of Josephine. Doubt and fear mingle with joy and pride. Having a child can be the simplest thing in the world. For us it was long, improbable, unique. At the maternity ward, they call it a “precious pregnancy.” It is also an announced imbalance to our life as a couple, a love story to two to rebuild three.

Josephine is 6 years old today and doubts have dissipated. Love is obvious. The fear of death is another. I live with both. The family cocoon crumbles with entry to school. I take back the device. I photograph Josephine, in a fight that seems lost in advance, so that it does not escape too quickly, so that the sweet and loving fusion of this microcosm of three continues. I found my place. Time passes and I can finally say that nothing is opposed to the night, nothing justifies … and I have everything to dare.”

– Arno Brignon

Arno Brignon is a French photographer and in her series ‘Josephine’ she looks at the fragility of the family cocoon and how this can be broke by the introduction of a newborn – your child. In Brignon’s case, this was very abrupt and she did not know how to deal with it and the responsibility that weighed ion her shoulders. Therefore, she began to documentary this transformation and adaption she has had to  make and the result is a very warm and vibrant, yet dark and meaningful series of works that encapsulates her child – Josephine and how she has become the center point of her life. Brignon is the artist I will taking inspiration from for the point at which I begin o collaborate with my 4 year old sister to produce work for my project looking at my relationship with her, which over the last year, has become more complicated and upsetting for myself as I now no longer see her very much due to the split of my dad and his partner (Minnie’s mother) who will not be included in the project because I do not feel the need.

Brignon’s differ form the other artist work also shown in this post in that they much more vibrant in their colour yet feature much more darkness from the contrasts of shadows. It looks like they have been taken using a 35/50 mm film camera due to the clear grain which you can see in the images as well as the quite washed out and hazed colours which are provided with film.

The image below is from the series of 45 images produced by Brignon, and, in my opinion is one of the best because it is a very meaningful. It shows two horses back-back-back grazing on the ground of the field they are seen in which is in the background of the image. The foreground consist of a well-kept prim and proper garden filled with greenery and bushes and features vibrant colours. As you move your yes further through the mage towards the back, you come across much more neutral, less vibrant colours of dull and washed out pinks and beiges as well as greys – it is almost like a dusky pink and the two colours from the image look like they are from images taken at two different times. In the centre of the image, well placed in between two bushes are two horses stood back bac to back grazing at the grass of the field. The two animals are the obvious focal pint of the image and have been used by Brignon, presumably to represent a metaphorical representation of her other half in her family – her boyfriend/husband. From the birth of their child, an event and milestone in a couples life that should provide happiness for an eternity, may have broken the couple apart and it could have tested their relationship to their breaking points, which, as well, it what a birth of a child can do to a relationship which was once stable. The introduction of a child requires each parents to give up son much of what they once had in order tot look after this new responsibility and to can sometimes be too much for them both to take – forcing the break u if their relationship and the separation of the family. I have experienced this when I was younger when my parents decided to split and so has my sister unfortunately at the same age as when it happened to me. It is sometimes inevitable and although this may not have happened in Brignon’s case, these two horses may represent the gradual distancing they have experienced with one another through trying to juggle work and home life. Although they are to an extent, separated emotionally and may encounter more stress and friction, they still love each other and this often the case with most break-ups – although the split as occurred, both halves still stay strong for the child’s sake but this image can represent the hardship a family can got through when dedicating so much of you time to care for your newborn

http://www.arno-brignon.fr/files/gimgs/th-45_josephine2016022 copie_v2.jpg

Images like the one below could be seen as happy accident because Brignon may have not intended for the blur to be a part of the image and perhaps was desperately attempting to get each feature of the image in focus and crisp as possible and the blur may have been accidental but the outcome has turned out to be very successful and effective and perhaps Brignon took a liking to it an chose to use it in her project. The image shows Josephine kissing another girl who looks to be her age – maybe a school friend as she looks into the camera which is a very nice touch as it shows the sense of naughtiness of childhood din that sometimes they may be doing something they’re not supposed to and often look to the aren’t for a say so as to whether it is okay or not. There is something quite cheeky about the image and this is what I love, yet the soft focus make sit seem quite dreamy and heavenly, much like the other images sin the series like the one below. The common theme and atmosphere is dreaminess and a haze as children often get caught up in the fun of things that they forget what is going on but as well, due to the dark contrasts and shadows of the imagery, there is also a quite sinister and eerie sense to the series – as if something does not seem right and this in-turn makes the viewer feel quite on-edge.

Brignon photographs the very intimate moments that she finds in and around her family and home life on a day-today basis and she also includes herself with her daughter within the images. There is  sense of intimacy and connection between the mother and daughter bit there is little evidence of the father within the project and it is shown as though the mother and daughter have formed a close bond and the dad is a lost identity within the system. Images of Brignon with Josephine in the bath and the two of them present in the image together is what shows the sense of family and love and connection in times of hardship – where you have to keep striding on.

http://www.arno-brignon.fr/files/gimgs/th-45_josephine2016016 copie.jpg

http://www.arno-brignon.fr/files/gimgs/th-45_josephine013.jpg

Rita Puig-Serra Costa - 'Where Mimosa Bloom'

(website)

“Dealing with the grief that the photographer suffered following the death of her mother, Where Mimosa Bloom by Rita Puig Serra Costa takes the form of an extended farewell letter; with photography skillfully used to present a visual eulogy or panegyric. This grief memoir about the loss of her mother is part meditative photo essay, part family biography and part personal message to her mother. These elements combine to form a fascinating and intriguing  discourse on love, loss and sorrow.”

– Editions Du Lic on ‘Where Mimosa Bloom’

This particular artist is whom I originally got my inspiration from to produce the shoot I completed which resulted in my series looking at childhood memories of my family members. This was one of the best series I have created during my time as an amateur photographer because of the poetical nature of it and the narrative it told of how one moment in time can have an affect on our futures and how we lead out lives butt his one recollection of  a past time can often be forgotten about, however, the memory still has meaning and substance to generate an emotion from the subject it is linked with.

Rita Puig-Serra Costa, in her series ‘Where Mimosa Bloom’, uses archival imagery and objects from her family archive to create a story and emphasise the essence of past times in order to tell a story of her dead mother and the life she lead and the impact she had on people around her. Using archives from each person my ‘Childhood Memories’ series was also essential allowed me to tell a ore poetical story because I was showing the physical object which had such meaning to the owner of it.

I would love to again use archival imagery from my own archive as well as delving into my family members archive to find some interesting memoirs hat can be the driving force of my project to send it in a direction which would make for an interesting story. I have already begun to look into the archive of my dad to discover memories he has kept of his time with my mum and this has already opened up my eyes to what their life was like when they were together, nurturing me and caring for me with all their love – as a cohesive family and intend to use these discoveries in my project.

However, a concept I would like to explore in my project is the creation of family tree – in the style that Rita Puig Serra Costa presented in her book. One page after another, as you turned through the beginning of the book, a new family embers portrait was revealed – what looked like a passport photo or a photo taken in a photo booth. This reveled a careful and thoughtful set up of a sequence of portraits next to, and underneath each other as each page was turned. On the last page of the sequence, the last family member was revealed and it resulted in a very effective family tree set-up (show below) – something I would be interested in producing for my own project as this would show the relationship which have been grown and then, sometimes, broken off in my own family and would set up the story to come.

The image below is from a segment of the book which looks at the concept of paring a still-life object-image with a portrait to show the relationship between the person and the object. This is what I adapted in my own series to suit that of my own family members and and tell a story of their own reminiscences from when they were younger.

I will be using the same concept of photographing a meaningful object in the story of the relationship of my mum dad against a black background as this is the only way of researching into their relationship and from this research I will conduct, it will allow me understand what their life, as well as mine was like when I was younger and oblivious to everything around me. From this, I can also conduct small interviews with my parents to understand the best and worst memories from when I was a child – I will also ask myself this.

Image result for rita puig serra costa

 

Review and Reflect

Overall I have learnt from the selection of work I have produced so far that it is not archival work, which I want to focus on in my photo book. Although, there will still be an element of this within my  study I would like to introduce more documentary work- this will consist of 4 mini photo shoot, which will all be conducted in Scotland. Saying that, some of my archival work I feel is successful in showing loss and these will be used in my photo book.  I feel like I will however used raw archival images in my book as well as subtly editing some more of the images in a similar way as I have up to this point. Some of the images I will be using in my book, I feel these are my most successful photographs from my exhibition work, these will be joined together with new photographs I will be making- new images made in Scotland.

This last image I have another image similar, which I did not edit. It is conducted and produced in the same way as it one I have presented as an edited image, The middle figure is their mother and this obe is their father. I would like to put these two images together in my photo book, perhaps on the same page as I feel this image was successful I will edit it in the same way I have edited this one. This images represents loss and I feel the two images would work well together as a pair. This is the original image I will be editing to link with this one.

This is the edited one:

Moving forward I am happy to stick to the original theme of loss- absence and presence. I would like to edit more archival photographs slightly and choose the photographs I will be using in my photo-book and also making sure they are all a-lined and are the way I want them to be to fit the theme of my photo-book. I will carefully choose these, making sure they link and display my idea accurately. I have about 200 archival photographs and I will have to probably narrow this done to as little as 20, as I will be including the photoshoots I will be conducting in the next few days. The 4 mini photoshoots will consist of 1 photoshoot dedicated to taking documentary images of my granddad’s daily routine, another photoshoot being documentary also as I will be taking ‘action’ photographs at his 80th birthday party, A different photoshoot being of objects and the last one being of the portraits of the individuals who conducted the interviews. For the photoshoot not yet conducted my main inspirations will be Phillip Toledano with his project entitled ‘Days with my Father’ and Laia Abril with her project called ‘The Epilogue’ research into their work was conducted previously in my blog post called Artist References, this also includes my main influence for my current work, which is Liz Steketee. Also what parts specifically I was inspired by is also identified in a previous blog post called Linking Exhibition finals to Artist Reference

Review and Reflection (Moving Forward and my Intentions)

Now fully underway with my personal investigation, I feel much more secure and comfortable at the position I am at the moment because I have has the chance to fully plan what it is I actually want to do and what it is I want to pursue and how I am actually going to do this. Although photography does till hold elements of spontaneity in that nothing is ever set in stone and happy accidents are very common when creating and editing imagery, I feel as though I can move forward confidently in my processes to gradually become closer and closer tot he point at which I feel comfortable to take my photobook. This is not for another few months however so I feel like I can use my remaining time wisely to create something visually captivating, poetically presented and something that will also challenge my comforts. Over the next month or so I will be pushing myself more and more as I progress sin order for me to benefit form these risks I plan to take. The more I reach outside of comfort bubble, I will be increasing my chances of satisfaction when something pays off and it will open new doors to me when experimenting with new styles of work. I hope to include myself much more in my images because I believe self-portraits can be and are very effective because using yourself, although difficult can be a great way of expressing yourself an telling a narrative. I will be taking inspiration from artist such as Matt Eich and LaToya Ruby Frazier for this. As well, I feel that so far in my project looking at the concept of relationships within my family and how attachment and detachment is a paramount reality within my own family, I have mostly, if not solely been photographing what an object is and what it looks like at face value and have not been exploring how something may make me feel and then responding to this in my photographs. Therefore over the next few weeks, when producing images, I will be forcing myself to visually show, for the viewers of my images, what an image is and what it looks like but more importantly, exploring deeper into this and attempting to show a less literal interpretation of this.

I believe that the exhibition, for me personally was a break and a temporary halt in proceedings to allow me stop and think what I now want to do moving forward with my project but because I did not use any imagery from my current work for my personal investigation, I was working  on this in the background. I haven’t really has the chance yet to look at all my images, although from my shoots, I have chosen my final and edited these as I wish, I haven’t been able to thoroughly self-asses my own work because of my focus on getting images ready for the exhibition. Therefore, I will look over my images and try to make observations of what it is I want to do in my current state – I feel like I am temporarily a little lost and need to find my feet again in terms of what to do to progress bit I am happy with what I am doing thus far as it has set me up for the remainder. However, I feel like I can easily set myself too much to do because of al the ideas that are constantly running through my head and must not let this overrun me so it is important that I take a step at a time whilst still challenging myself in my creative processes.

(collection of images already produced)

Lucy cutting Mum’s hair
Hair on the floor

I intend to look at my inspirations closely in order to benefit my own outcomes and will analyse their skills in composing their own images for me to get an idea of how this can be interpreted into my work. Looking at these photographers I have previously analysed will better my understanding of ways I can become more creative and in-turn better my work. The themes of my inspirations work are also similar to mine and so I can derive meanings out of their work to also hopefully give me some ideas on what I can do. For example, I hope to produce a similar family-tree-like presentation of my own family as Rita Puig Serra Costa does at the beginning of her book looking at the loss of her mother. Using thumbnail portraits of my own family members at beginning of my book set-out like a family tree will be perfect to show the idea relationships and connections and the familial bubble/circle. Also, I intend to become more poetic and metaphorical in my work through looking at that of Matt Eich’s project ‘I Love You I’m Leaving’ which also explores how a divorce can be tragic but how you’ve got to stride forward and continue, with your own loved ones, to create your own memories. It also underpins the idea of making you as the photographer the centre point and telling the story from your perspective, which I hope to do more of.

The themes I want to delve deeper into are that of attachment and detachment and the idea of losing an identity, as well as memories of my mum and dad from when I was younger and the fragility of love and growing up which will be explored through my relationships with my girlfriend and my sister.

(collection of images already produced)

Goal at Millbrook Park where Dad and I used to play football on Saturday mornings
Car under its cover

My aim is to also produce imagery that will in-turn eventually work together as whole and as a collective which tells a visual story because this is what I am wary of at the moment and what I am cautious of because my photobook needs to be a story and a journey of how my parents divorce when I was so young has now influenced my upbringing and how I live my onw life in relations to what my mum and dad are now doing with their own lives. I am going to aim to produce images to work as a collective and not in isolation of each other. I will collaborating with my subjects and it is a project that will be something for them to also look back on and appreciate so I want to do this project justice. It encapsulates a subject that is often seen as a taboo – divorce. People feel very wary and awkward to bring this up and talk about it because it involves heartbreak and often hatred for the other half if it was a painful break-up. I want to show it in a more positive light and present myself as the centre of this divorce – not a cause but somebody who has been impacted by this but have not let it affect my life in a way that I have found myself in a position of loneliness and instead, I am surrounded by a more cohesive family. I will also be contrasting events – I will be attempting to show how my mum and ads relationships is similar and different to that of mine and Lucy’s relationships because my mum fell in love at 16 also. As well, I will comparing and contrasting the life of myself at 4 when my parents split to tat of Minnie’s life now – she was also 4 when her mum and dad split, however, for this to be clear, it will be up to the audience’s interpretation of what I show. I will provide the ingredients and it is the viewers choice on how to decode this – an aspect that I enjoy because I do not wish to show direct meanings and present a full dimensional outlook – it will partly fragmented and it is up to the viewer to put it together.

(collection of images already produced)

Mum’s old jewellery (represents herself and my dad)
Tattoo of the same piece of jewellery on my Mum’s ankle

Linking Exhibition Finals To Artist Reference

These are the photographs I chose to be put forward for the photography exhibition. For this part of my project I have used the title ‘Lost Souls’

For this specific group of images I took Liz Steketee as a huge inspiration when I was editing these photographs. Although she does not edit photographs digitally, she does tackle the theme of family and explores removing or blocking objects or people out of the photographs to portray a specific topic or story. This is what I tried to o in my photographs, sticking to the theme of absence and presence. Also looking at the theme of lose in particular, other artists have inspired me for other ideas for my project such as Phillip Toledano- Days with my father and Laia Abril- The Epilogue.

Comparison:

Both of these images include a person, which has been removed from the photograph by covering it in the artists image, it has been covered by white stitches- which almost makes the figure look ghost like, which could suggest the person underneath the stitches are dead or are dying. Similarly, my image uses a black colour overlay to remove my Granddad’s dad to show he is no longer there anymore- meaning he is not in my Granddad’s life. I decided to manipulate this digitally as I wanted it to give the effect of a silhouette to show although he is not here physically, he is still thought about and still remains as a memory in his life. The concept of each of the images, seem to be fairly similar. Both images are also archival images, which are manipulated. This is photographs from the past to show people how they were before- comparing this to how they are now. Liz using all archival images in her work and is known for manipulation.  This is where my initial inspiration came from to stem other ideas for my project work.

When it comes to other inspirations as I have stated before they are  Phillip Toledano- Days with my father and Laia Abril- The Epilogue.

Laia Abril

The Epilogue, follows an American family in the aftermath of losing their daughter to bulimia. She separates the work into sections allowing her to approach different aspects through different platforms, not only in the multiplicity of perspectives but also in a constantly evolving visual stimulation. The book itself is extremely inspirational for my project but in particular a technique she used throughout her project, which was interviewing and connecting this statement to the person in a picture format, which is something I will definitely explore in my project.

I really like this idea as she is voicing the opinions and thoughts of the loved ones, which were around her. This is similar to the idea I have for my photo book. I have conducted several phone interviews to get the thoughts of the people who are close to my granddad, which will be presented in a similar way to this. There will be an image of the person on the left hand side of the book and then a statement compiled from the interview. This is the way I would like it to be presented:

Laia also uses archival images in her project, which is what I will also be doing for my project. I will manipulate some on them, however not all. Laia did not manipulate any of her photographs, they were left how they were. I will include this in my own photo book as well as manipulated archival images to show the theme of loss. Laia too takes on an emotion theme of death and showing archival photographs allows the readers to compare old and new photographs to create an image of what she was like. This again is something I want to get across as I am exploring the theme of change.

Other images in her book are of objects, things that the lady would have used on a daily basis or things that are important to her. For my project I will be photographing objects which are a part of my Granddad daily routine to give people an insight to whats significant or important to my Granddad. This would be things such as his pills, magnifying glass, doctors notes, slippers, his glass eye and their old and new house. In this case she photographed weighing scales and pills etc.  These would have been objects in her life as she would have been obsessed with keeping her weight down. I feel this gives us more of an insight of her life, which I will be doing for my project also.

Phillip Toledano

The project- Days with my father was created after his mum died suddenly on the 4th of September 2006. After she died, Phillip realised how much his mother shielded him from his father’s mental state. He suffers with short-term memory and is ‘often lost.’

Phillip takes documentary photographs of his Dad, this is a photography technique I will be using in my project as I want to document my Granddad’s life, which is what Phillip did for his father. He also takes photographs of his fathers chair and objects, again this is something that he will be using daily. I like the fact the images are documentary, as it naturalistic and therefore it is real and true. I like the way he shows the different emotions of his father as it is raw and feels real, this is what I want my project to bring.

 

Interviews

I conducted phone interviews with various family members, we discussed my granddad’s physical and mental state, this is to get other peoples point of view of his current situation and how this has affected them personally. I also discussed with them the change in my granddad and what they feel has significantly changed and also their favorite memory of my granddad before the stroke. I had  compiled several structured questions before conducting the interviews , which I asked all family members as well as asking questions in response to their answers to my original questions. His first stroke was in December 2006 and his second stroke was in January in 2008.

I also interviewed my granddad about how he felt about his current situation and how he himself feels it has changed his life. What he felt was the hardest part of his illness and how he feels about having to adapt his life.

These were the results of my interviews, I interviewed 5 people including my Granddad himself.  Of course I asked if this was okay and if they were happy to talk about this with me to then use this for my photography project and all agreed they were happy for me to do so.


My original questions were:

How do you feel the strokes have affected granddad, both physically and mentally?

What are your thoughts on his current situation?

How has this affected you personally?

What was your favourite memory of Granddad and how would you describe him before his strokes?

If you could have summed him up in one word what would it have been?


Results:

MY MUM- Elaine Sutcliffe (his daughter)

How do you feel the strokes have affected granddad, both physically and mentally?

Well, physically he is unable to drive anymore, he doesn’t read as much because of his poor eye sight and although mentally he is still sharp, he struggles with his speech.

What are your thoughts on his current situation?

I feel sorry for him, as he doesn’t live the life he used to. He used to enjoy walking the dog for miles every day and also enjoyed cooking. But can’t do any of these now.

How has this affected you personally?

It has affected me personally in that dad and I had to help financially to buy a bungalow as he couldn’t cope with stairs anymore. However, this was something I was more than happy to do as I knew this would help him and my mum.

What was your favourite memory of Granddad and how would you describe him before his strokes?

Christmas morning- making christmas special even as a  teenager and adult. Getting everyone to wait upstairs to wait to make sure santa had been and gone.

If you could have summed him up in one word what would it have been?

Hero

"HERO"

Physically he is unable to drive anymore, he doesn't read as much because of his poor eye sight and although mentally he is still sharp, he struggles with his speech. I feel sorry for him, as he doesn't live the life he used to. He used to enjoy walking the dog for miles every day and also enjoyed cooking. But can't do any of these now. 

It has affected me personally in that my husband and I had to help financially to buy a bungalow as he couldn't cope with stairs anymore. However, this was something I was more than happy to do as I knew this would help him and my mum.

I can always remember him making christmas mornings so special even as a  teenager and adult. Getting everyone to wait upstairs to wait to make sure santa had been and gone. That is one of my favourite memories.

(Small photo of Christmas)


MY UNCLE– Scott Jackson (his son)

How do you feel the strokes have affected granddad, both physically and mentally?

He struggles to walk long distances and is always in fear of falling, which makes him grip tightly onto banisters. Mentally, he is not as happy as he once was as he had to give up things he used to love.

What are your thoughts on his current situation?

I mean he would never moan about a thing but his current situation is upsetting to see as he is not the person he once was. He used to be the life and soul of the party.

How has this affected you personally?

I used to have a strong bond with my dad, all three of us did. He would always be laughing and joking, messing around. So I guess what I am trying to say is our relationship is a lot more serious and calm, the laughter is what I miss.

What was your favourite memory of Granddad and how would you describe him before his strokes?

My dad used to help run my junior football team, it was something I looked forward to every week and I enjoyed my dad supporting me as well as showing us new skills to use in the football game. He was always so active with all of us, we used to play in the snow in the winter and build snowmen, this is what comes to mind when I think of my childhood.

If you could have summed him up in one word what would it have been?

Legend

"LEGEND"

My dad struggles to walk long distances and is always in fear of falling, which makes him grip tightly onto banisters. Mentally, he is not as happy as he once was as he had to give up things he used to love. I mean he would never moan about a thing but his current situation is upsetting to see as he is not the person he once was. He used to be the life and soul of the party.

I used to have a strong bond with my dad, all three of us did. He would always be laughing and joking, messing around. So I guess our relationship is a lot more serious now after his strokes, the laughter is what I miss.

My dad used to help run my junior football team, it was something I looked forward to every week and I enjoyed my dad supporting me as well as showing us new skills to use in the football game. He was always so active with all of us, we used to play in the snow in the winter and build snowmen, this is what comes to mind when I think of my childhood.

(Small photo of him in the snow)


MY UNCLE- Graeme Jackson (his son)

How do you feel the strokes have affected granddad, both physically and mentally?

Mentally, he has given up. He does make me laugh because he’s been saying for years that he hasn’t got long left but will have reached 80 in a few weeks.

What are your thoughts on his current situation?

As I said before he’s given up, he is ready to go now even though everyone around him doesn’t want to let him go, he doesn’t want to be here anymore. I know he feels all my mum does is care for him and feels that has become her life.

How has this affected you personally?

I mean, its heartbreaking seeing him living the way he is, he can’t do anything he used to love doing and its devastating watching him deteriorate.

What was your favourite memory of Granddad and how would you describe him before his strokes?

My Favourite memory of my dad has got to be when he brought our childhood dog home, Bess. We begged for a dog for so long and this one day he came home with a dog, Bess was a huge part of his life and she brought the family a lot of happiness.

If you could have summed him up in one word what would it have been?

Brave

"BRAVE"

Mentally, he has given up. He does make me laugh because he's been saying for years that he hasn't got long left but will have reached eighty in a few weeks. But, he is ready to go now even though everyone around him doesn't want to let him go, he doesn't want to be here anymore. I know he feels all my mum does is care for him and feels that has become her life.

Its heartbreaking seeing him living the way he is, he can't do anything he used to love doing and its devastating watching him deteriorate.

My Favourite memory of my dad has got to be when he brought our childhood dog home, Bess. We begged for a dog for so long and this one day he came home with a dog, Bess was a huge part of his life and she brought the family a lot of happiness. 

(Small photo of him and bess)


MY GRAN- Andreina  Jackson (his wife)

How do you feel the strokes have affected granddad, both physically and mentally?

Oh gosh, it’s changed him dramatically! Physically he can hardly move or do anything for himself anymore, which is painful to witness as he used to be so independent. Mentally, he gets confused often and forgets a lot, which is something he would never have done before.

What are your thoughts on his current situation?

It’s hard to watch him fade away, I find it hard to talk to him about the past as I feel it upsets him to think about how he used to be and comparing it to how he is now. This shouldn’t have happened to my Jim, he is too good.

How has this affected you personally?

Personally, I have to care for him now, almost acting like his nurse and have been for almost 12 years. I don’t mind looking after him, but I feel like I have lost my freedom to do things for myself, without worrying about Jim.

What was your favourite memory of Granddad and how would you describe him before his strokes?

My favourite memory, umm there is so many! But it has to be our wedding definitely. Seeing my husband to be look at me with pure love, he looked gorgeous I can’t explain how excited I was to spend the rest of my life with this man. I was and still am in love with this man.

If you could have summed him up in one word what would it have been?

Precious

"PRECIOUS"

It's changed him dramatically! Physically he can hardly move or do anything for himself anymore, which is painful to witness as he used to be so independent. Mentally, he gets confused often and forgets a lot, which is something he would never have done before.It's hard to watch him fade away, I find it hard to talk to him about the past as I feel it upsets him to think about how he used to be and comparing it to how he is now. This shouldn't have happened to my Jim, he is too good. 

Personally, I have to care for him now, almost acting like his nurse and have been for almost 12 years. I don't mind looking after him, but I feel like I have lost my freedom to do things for myself, without worrying about Jim. 

My favourite memory, there is so many! But it has to be our wedding definitely. Seeing my husband to be look at me with pure love, he looked gorgeous I can't explain how excited I was to spend the rest of my life with this man. I was and still am in love with this man.

MY GRANDDAD- Jimmy Jackson

How do you feel the strokes have affected you, both physically and mentally?

Honestly, I can hardly move. I’m in so much pain all the time and this drains me mentally. I have my low days, where I wish it would all just go away but I’ve lived a great life and I can never forget that.

What would you say the hardest part of all of this has been?

The hardest part for me, would have to be losing my eye. It was taken out as I had lost sight in it and I had regular pain behind my eye socket. This was supposed to stop the pain but it didn’t… now I get infections in my eye, which is extremely painful. Not being able to see is sometimes terrifying.

I understand you have lost some aspects of your left, What do you miss the most?

I miss being independent, I used to do everything for myself and my family. This was when I was at my happiest. I miss being capable to do things for myself, now I don’t feel I am living, depending on Andreina, which is something I never really used to do.

What gets you through the hard times?

The fact I have a good life before all of this is what gets me through my hard times, having all the family support is overwhelming.

What made you so determined to walk, talk and feel again as you lost all of these after your second stroke?

I was determined to learn to walk,talk and feel again because I couldn’t live my life in a wheelchair. I was too independent to have all of that taken away from me. I am blessed to have been able to learn to do these basic things again as many give up and don’t have the motivation to do so. This motivation came from my family.

How do you feel about getting to 80?

I should have died a long time ago, the fact I have got to eighty is mind blowing but i’m ready to go now, I feel it is my time to go.

"I should have died a long time ago, the fact I have got to eighty is mind blowing but i'm ready to go now, I feel it is my time to go."

I can hardly move. I'm in so much pain all the time and this drains me mentally. I have my low days, where I wish it would all just go away but I've lived a great life and I can never forget that.

The hardest part for me, would have to be losing my eye. It was taken out as I had lost sight in it and I had regular pain behind my eye socket. This was supposed to stop the pain but it didn't... now I get infections in my eye, which is extremely painful. Not being able to see is sometimes terrifying. 

I miss being independent, I used to do everything for myself and my family. This was when I was at my happiest. I miss being capable to do things for myself, now I don't feel I am living, depending on Andreina, which is something I never really used to do. But, the fact I have a good life before all of this is what gets me through my hard times, having all the family support is overwhelming.

I was determined to learn to walk,talk and feel again when I lost the ability to do so because I couldn't live my life in a wheelchair. I was too independent to have all of that taken away from me. I am blessed to have been able to learn to do these basic things again as many give up and don't have the motivation to do so. This motivation came from my family.

These are to go along side a portrait of each of these family members to express what they think and feel about his illness. This will be presented in my final book. I also interviewed some of my cousins but they did not take the topic seriously and therefore, I did not use it. For these portraits, I will take them on a plain background- Making them all the same. A studio-based portrait is what I will be going for. They will be framed the same, just photographing the head and shoulders, keeping this consistent throughout each shoot. I will be exploring different angles of the subjects face to see what works and is successful in each portrait.

Presenting & Evaluating

The purpose for producing these final images, was to present them in an exhibition, which will be taking place at The Jersey Arts Centre on the 27th of November. The exhibition is entitled ‘Constructed Realities’,  The intention of the exhibition is to:

“Bring together work by Hautlieu School A-Level Photography students including their responses to a series of inspirational workshops, masterclasses and lectures delivered by Archisle International Photographers in Residence 2017 Tanja Deman and Jonny Briggs. The classes have been hosted by Hautlieu School in partnership with the Archisle educational programme and represent a range of multi-media creative outcomes inspired by the themes of family and environment.”


I have been using the last month of my studies to construct my own personal study surrounding the ideas of loss in my Granddad’s life and also planning the photoshoots I will undertake in Scotland- which will be more recent and documentary style photographs . In my previous blog posts, I have given a justification of what my project is about, as well as its purpose.

The project is kick-started by my granddad’s first stroke, which then branches out to a much wider topic of loss – loss in that things lost in my Granddad’s life such as family members and friends but also the lost person my granddad as become. He is different to how he used to be and this is due to the strokes. From a stroke, I have experienced a conflict of knowing who he used to be and who he is now and I have had great difficulty not comparing the two version. From the stroke I have had to build a different and more serious relationship with my Granddad, which conflicts with the fun-loving relationship we had before this.  It was hard for me and the family to let the old him go, honestly I don’t think I ever can.

However, this narrative is not yet constructed enough to tell a cohesive story as I have not been working on it for a long enough for people to understand the concepts and meaning behind the project as my main part of my project is not yet been conducted, which means the audience can connect with this. When I have conducted this part of my product which will be done in a time period of 2 weeks I am hoping it all comes together and people start to understand my ideas.

However, explaining this series of work will be done more concisely and poetically in my artist statement which will be present at the exhibition for my audience to get an idea of what the work is.


When I had chosen the images I wanted to use for the exhibition I printed them out to arrange them in a format, to show how I wanted it to be set up on the exhibition wall. I first did this on a white background so I could experiment with the layout before making a final decision. These were my 3 layouts I liked the most:

 

I went for this layout and so then designed this in photoshop to make a digital version of the layout.


Here is my artist statement which will go alongside my series of work at the exhibition. I have been as descriptive as possible in order for my audience to get not only a cohesive visual narrative of this series but also a text driven perspective of the project which should complement the imagery well enough to tell a story.

ARTIST STATEMENT:
S troke challenged him
T rampled on his dreams
R earranged his relationships
O rganized his days
K idnapped his future
E xtracted hope from despair.

In this catalogue of works, I have explored my Granddad life, particularly focusing on the theme of absence and presence in his life after experiencing two strokes, one in 2006 and another in 2008. My granddad is now eighty years of age and has been affected significantly from the strokes, which resulted in his loss of eye sight, difficulty to walk and he often struggles to perform his daily routine. For this section of my project I have worked with archival images of my Granddad specifically, showing absence by using coloured overlays to remove or block things/people out of the photograph, which were originally there. This is showing things he has lost and displaying things, which are still present.

Evaluation:

For the exhibition which is beginning on Monday 27th November, I will be presenting images produced for my study into my Granddad so far. If I am honest I don’t feel happy with the work I have produced so far this is because I have not produced any new photographs as of yet, however this could have not been helped as my Granddad lives in Scotland- which restricts my access to him. However, in 2 weeks I am going over to conduct my photoshoots, which have been thoroughly planned in advance. For now, I am happy with most of the photographs produced to fit the theme of loss. I feel they were relatively successful as a collection, however, I am more excited and interested in the new work I will be developing soon for my book as it is more what I wanted my book to be about. My main inspiration for this series of work would be the photographer Liz Steketee, although she doesn’t really manipulate her images digitally covers or removes certain parts of the image, which is a technique I used in the series to show loss. Evaluating the photographs individually has been done in a previous post, to show the meaning, the concept and the subject matter around the group of images.

My Artist Statement & Evaluation of Work for Exhibition

Here is my artist statement which will go alongside my series of work at the exhibition. I have attempted to be as descriptive as possible in order for my audience to get not only a cohesive visual narrative to follow but also a text driven perspective of the project which should complement the imagery well enough to tell a strong story. I have done this by explaining my thought processes as well as my inspiration I took for the series.

3 Diptychs Representing a Childhood Memory

The brain is a magical organ of our body; it has the ability to hold limitless information, thoughts, ideas and memories from times forgotten. Taking inspiration from Rita Puig-Serra Costa, these 3 diptychs come from a series encapsulating the notion of childhood nostalgia. For most of us, our memories from childhood are a certain haze which, as we grow older, becomes more and more of a distant recollection of a time which is hard to understand the details of.

In this catalogue of works, I have explored the relationship we have with memories from our past – whether happy or upsetting, they exist and are sometimes consigned to an archive in our brain to be forgotten. Memories generate an emotion which may be difficult to describe but easier to visually portray. Using my Nan, Mum and Girlfriend, I have created a collection of juxtapositions between portraits and still-life object-imagery which represent their own childhood reminiscence.

A photograph is often a fragmentation of the truth and represents a one dimensional perspective but I have attempted to create a decryption of what is often hidden in this series. Each diptych is accompanied by a handwritten note from each subject explaining the context of their choice of memory.


Evaluation:

For the exhibition which is beginning on Monday 27th November, I will not be presenting images produced for my study into my own relationships with people around me and instead, 3 diptychs which I created for a series looking at childhood memories. I decided not to use the photographs I have made thus far for my ‘relationships’ project as I wanted to show my project used to get to the stage I am now with my coursework – being the series focusing on childhood nostalgia. As well, I wasn’t happy, after experimenting with presentations using images from my current coursework, with the images I already have because altogether when clustered as a whole, did not work poetically in the way I wanted them to and instead, found the my other photographs worked better together as it was a completed and cohesive narrative about childhood recollections. I am very happy with my selection of three diptychs and will explain why…

When I set out to produce work inspired by the tableaux vivant scene which was very prominent in theatre and art in the 1800s and 1900s, but for photographic tableaux’s, not until the late 1900s, I wanted to encapsulate the idea of tableaux but put a modern twist on it and make much more conceptual in relation to photograph techniques and styles. My intention was to present an alternative approach to tableaux work by ‘rec-crating’ a childhood memory in relation to each of my family members. To ‘recreate’ a moment which may be long forgotten from a time which is very distant, I wanted to show the memory in its physical form, and therefore asked my subjects to retrieve an object which reminded them of their childhood. I also wanted to show this relation to the owner of the object and focus on a portrait to illustrate a character which can be put with the memory. I set out to recreate the memory in a variety of ways – one was for the subjects benefit and pleasure to reminisce about a time forgotten. When they retrieved their object and brought it to me to photograph, it was a moment for them to also tell me the meaning behind it and they also were able to do this through their own articulation onto paper. As well, the discovery of the past of my family was special for me to hear because I can relate to some of the stories.

I feel like I have curated an impressive portfolio of images and I am very happy with it because it different to what I have found myself doing in previous projects – it is much more simplistic in its style and nature and does not rely on heavy post production to create a captivating image and instead, it’s much more conceptual and poetic form benefits its outcome and influence on the viewer. I feel like I have created a visual shrine for the subjects to interact with – my collaboration and inclusion of my subjects on an intimate basis has made for an emotive story about nostalgia of past times – inspired by Rita Puig-Serra Costa and her project ‘Where Mimosa Bloom’ which also uses the idea of objects from personal archives paired with portraits to tell a narrative.

My Step-Brother

In 2010, my mother entered a relationship with another man despite my birthday wishes since I can remember consisting of the reunification of my biological parents. The new man in not only my mum’s life but mine also, was David; an accountant who I had previously met due to my mum and dad’s mutual friends. He was a reasonably calm and stable guy which was a factor that was cherished in my household as we were usually quite nomadic due to moving houses on several occasions.

When the introduction of my new father figure had settled, my mother broke the news we would be moving in as a family, which as a ten year old boy upset me as I still had hoped for my parents to come together. Although I detested the idea in theory, the practice of this new family image in the home was  beneficial for everybody. However, moving house again and having a new man in the house was not the only surprise which David had brought with him as me, as an only-child had to share all my belongings and frequently my space with two of David’s children from a previous relationship. Noah and Lukah would stay for the weekend every fortnight which cause havoc for my mother and David as having three hyperactive boys was tricky, especially as two of which suffered from A.D.H.D. Another difficulty was the fact we were also separate ages for I was ten/ eleven, Noah was three/four and Lukah was two so finding an activity to occupy us all was an awkward task. I recollect playing Mario Kart numerous times over the 2010 Christmas period as it was difficult to find a suitable activity for all of us, however, keeping me and Noah inside together was catastrophic for the household.

As I started secondary school, my A.D.H.D began to level out somehow. I’m often curious over how it did so with puberty being my only reasonable solution, but either way I was grateful as I was able to focus more without the aid of my medication, I no longer felt different to those who didn’t have to take any pills to alter their behaviour, although A.D.H.D. was never a socially limiting factor for me. With the start of secondary school, I also founded my new sense of independence which combined with my birth of my little sister meant I was rarely home. Reaching twelve years old before I had a sibling came as a bit of surprise as I had always been my mother’s one and only and I liked it that way, however, now I had to share her and although Noah and Lukah were around before, I always knew and felt like the boss. As my social life consumed more of my time along with my increasing independence, I spent less and less time at home until I got a serious girlfriend at sixteen. We often go to each other’s house which would mean half of the time I would have to host, exposing her to the three other children in the household and the busy regime the children have my parents on.

By spending more time at home, I redeveloped and reconciled a relationship with Noah, who despite his disorder, wanted to play more mature games that adults played. So on the weekends he and Lukah were over, Noah would play board and card games with us and we’d often team up as the young guns against the parents, bringing us closer. However, it is important to mention my parents really struggle amusing and catering for Noah in terms of his disorder which frequently means the incorporation of me in order to find solutions to amuse him as I obviously have a first-hand account of what it is like to be in his ten year-old situation. I’ve instructed my parents to enroll Noah into something mentally stimulating and physically tiring, whilst also developing the crucial social skills that helped me overcome my disorder.

In this edit, I wanted to brighten the face of Noah in order to exploit this angelic expression to demonstrate how despite his disorder, he is an innocent and misunderstood boy. The chains which surround Noah is a representation of how his A.D.H.D. is trapping him, which combined with the tall tower implies his identity is overpowered by his disorder.

For my piece within the exhibition, I wish to show my display like so.

Going forward, I look to photograph and capture moments in which Noah is hyperactive as well as our solutions of amusing him. Another factor to consider is how demanding Noah reacts when he doesn’t get what he wants and the other children do so that’ll also be interesting to capture.

Archival Images- Experimenting and Developing

I photographed the archival images I have of my grandad and the box I keep them in. These will be used as a comparison to what he used to be like, to what he’s like now. These images are extremely important to me as it shows him how I remember him. This was the man that inspired me to do many things and it makes me emotional to compare these to how he is now after his illnesses. I want my personal investigation to be a celebration of his life as well as documenting how the illness has changed his life and the lives of people around him.


Edits on Photoshop:

I edited these images on photoshop, I however decided that I don’t want to go down the root of editing by drawing on top of the photographs with the pen tool on photoshop. The main reason I don’t want to use these images is I don’t feel they suit the theme of my Personal Investigation as it a serious subject to explore, which I feel could be lost in these sort of edits as they could be seen as a type of animation, which is associated with children. I don’t feel this is appropriate with the theme I have taken on. Therefore I will edit these images in more of a mature way, still using shapes to show absents and presence of current things within the photograph. I will show this through shading specific parts of the image using photoshop, which is what I will be focusing on over the course of this month. I will do this subtly.

This image has been edited  in photoshop, only half of the image has been manipulated to show the loss of feeling in one side of his body due to the stroke. He finds it difficult to move this part of his body and this is represented in the photograph by a darken the right side of the body/photograph. Also when you cover one half of the photograph each part looks like a different person to show how he has changed as a person both physically and mentally.

Similarly, I picked a section of the photo to overlay with a black filter, this is over my grandad who has sadly pasted away due to him being an alcoholic for years of his life. The death of my granddad is a sensitive subject to me as for years I had never seen him sober, exactly a month before his death he promised to stop letting alcohol take over his life… but he didn’t. This shows he is gone, I chose the colour black to show he died of something immoral or sinful. I feel hurt and betrayed by him but have learnt to forgive him.

This is a photograph from the 60’s of my granddad and his friends, in this photograph is he 21. The red overlay over half the photo is to show separation between the boys as the two underneath the overlay are not here anymore as they passed away over the last 5 years, which brought a lot of emotional to my granddad as he felt this was a part of his childhood disappearing. He currently still has his brother with him but doesn’t see him due to him too being ill, he also had a stroke, which could link to my granddad as an heredity factor. These 3 photographs were made to be grouped together to show a pattern of loss, shown though overlays.

Again this is showing loss but this time it is showing a loss of sight, my granddad lost his sight as a result of his second stroke. He found this particularly hard as he enjoyed reading in his space time and felt like everything he loved to do, was taken away from him. He now reads the newspaper with a magnifying glass but can not read a book due to the pain he feels if he is straining his eye to much. He only has one working eye as one was removed to see if it would take away the pain… but it didn’t, leaving him with one glass eye and one eye, which is partially blind.

This is a photograph when my granddad was about 19 years of age. The image is of his brother, his dad and my granddad himself (on the viewers right) the middle figure, which has been removed with an overlay, 100 opacity is his father, who they lost at a fairly young age. In this photo he is painted black to show loss but is painted as a silhouette figure to show he is still there but just not present in our world. He is still spoken about by my granddad as he looked up to his father and always says this is why hes the man he is today.

These are my granddad’s childhood friends, most of his friends are now dead, he only has 2 of them who are still alive today. They are both in this picture. The two people, which are covered by a black overlay to make an almost silhouette effect to show the absence of these people in my granddad’s life as they have both sadly passed away. The other two men in the photograph, which are either side of my granddad in the image are still alive, they are both fairly ill themselves so have not seen my granddad in a long time. But are hopefully going to make an appearance for my granddad’s 80th birthday in December. This photograph is to again empathises the absence and presence in my Granddad’s life.

Overall my theme for this selection of work is showing absence and presence and in particular loss. This will be a key theme when working through this project.