An additional key theme is the concept of change, the word change has various different meanings such as: ‘make or become different’; ‘take or use another instead of’ and ‘an act or process through which something becomes different.’ Both Toledano and Abril develop this in very similar but also slightly different ways. Laia Abril looks at change after death and how this effects the people within Cammy’s life. This differs to Toledano’s work as he explores the change in his fathers mental state as well as referencing change after the death of his mother, which is where the two projects link.
Abril investigates the aftermath of Cammy’s death within the family showing the family life after this significant event, which has changed, smiles turning into frowns and laughter turning into silence. The project includes extracts of Cammy’s diary, which states her feelings on the specific date of the 5th of September 1995 “How i’ve felt today, let’s see it people could ignore me more, Kaky is going out w/ banks & taking Auchra & Maggie. Umph, leave me and Becky out. Bitch, she’s not cool.” (including a photograph of a crying animated face.) There is also an extract which her brother explains “She starts losing weight before college, we all thought it was a positive thing, nobody actually knew what was really going on.” This suggest this is where the crucial change in Cammy’s life began. Throughout the book there is a consistent exploration of triggers and where this change occurred in her life and when the family started noticing something was seriously wrong. This is implied through images and context developed by the family themselves. There are also images of Cammy within the project where Bulimia has not affected her and these can clearly be compared to images of her when she was distinctly unwell. This displays a change in her physical condition as well as her mental state. Finally, there is also a huge change in the family atmosphere and relationship as her brother Tommy reveals “Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are brutal holidays in our family.” However, he mother admits “I remember feeling a relief because she is in a safe place.” There is a continuous conflict in feeling grief and happiness that she is no longer in pain or miserable as she constantly tries to reach her vision of perfection. The families emotion change as well as their relationships with each other as they feel they feel the need to be closer to prevent feeling this loss again. I personally, feel the context within the book to be truly powerful and contribute to the meaning of the photographs. This specific photograph is of Cam, who is the mother of Cammy’s boyfriend Adam. The image is a portrait style image, capturing her shoulders upwards as she stares straight with a glazed over look in her eyes. Suggesting she can’t focus or feel due to her pain. Her eyes do not look at the camera but it appears she knows it is there but is feeling numb. The caption written next to the photograph reads “Everybody was waiting for Adam to propose to Cammy that fall.” This implies she feels some sort of guilt that her son was with Cammy while she was ill, also hurt and suffering to imagine her son’s grief as well as her own. This photograph refers to how future plans can be changed quickly and something/someone you love can vanish before your very eyes. As far as the quality of the image technically, I personally feel it is a strong image. The woman presented in the photograph is the main focus of the image as the background is blurred, centering our eyes to her face. The light used is natural and seems to be coming through the window, which is located behind her resulting in shadowing. The change in emotional state within this photograph reflects the effect of her death. This is something that would alter the familie’s life forever.
On the other hand, Phillip Toledano interpreted the idea of change slightly differently. Toledano explores the change in his fathers mental state as well as referencing change after the death of his mother. We observe a son, which is Phillip Toledano trying to ask the questions that never got asked in all the preceding years. It’s a tale of the mysteries and challenges of aging, the search for connection, the exposing of real selves, and the moments of love that come full circle when the roles are reversed and the child takes care of the parent. This reflects the change a person goes through as a result of getting older. In the case of this project, memory loss is explored as well as the change in their life since the death of Toledano’s mother. One of these important changes is his fathers emotions, this refers to both his confusion due to his illness and also his grief as a result of his wife’s death. Toledano explains that “Sometimes, when we’re talking, my dad will stop, and sigh, and close his eyes. It’s then that I know he knows. About my mum. About everything.” Suggesting the emotional state has changed as he starts to remember upsetting events. This could also be linked to his physical change as his father was described as ‘firm-star handsome’ when he was young and this change into “a man no longer beautiful upsets him deeply.” This implies he does not like the changes within his life but knows and has always known that these days would come. It’s outcome of aging and it cannot be stopped. The changes in his life are challenging and hard to comprehend, which often leads him to feel “it is time for him to go, that he’s been around for too long.” This suggests this is a new feeling his father expresses, the way he feels about life is altered by the experiences he is faced with and the changes which have occurred. Throughout the book there is a consistent exploration of changes and where these might of occurred in his life and due to what events or experiences. This is implied through images and context developed by Toledano himself as well as quotes taken from his father. There are only images of his father when he is ill and the changes have already occurred, these cannot be compared to what his father was like before the illness through images but can be through context provided by Toledano. This displays a change in his physical condition as well as his mental state, focusing closely on confusion and grief. The context within the project gives the audience a deeper understanding of his father’s life from the past and the present.
This image is a portrait of his father presented in a landscape format, again capturing the shoulders upwards. The main focus of the photograph is the man’s face as the background is blurred, leaving the focal point sharp and clear. He has a painful expression on his face, suggesting he is crying or hurt. This is clear as his nose is crumpled; his eyebrows frowning and his teeth clenching. His eye gaze is directed towards the floor and his back seems to be hunched over, rounding his shoulders as if he feels the pain physically. This suggests the change in his mental and emotional state, showing his frustration. This image was captioned with context which stating “Eating is often a miserable experience.” Toledano explains the one thing he did love was eggs: scrambled eggs; egg salad; egg-drop soup.” This implies he would stick to what he knew he liked and this was probably easy to make. The main reason I like this photograph is because it radiates emotion, which makes me sympathises towards him and his family. It is a painful image, which can be compared to contrasting photographs, which show times when he is happy and cheerful. The lighting of this image is dark on the viewers left side, which is contrasted with the right as it appears to have a beam of light shining on the top of his face, which I assume is coming from an artificial light. I personally feel this image is extremely strong and can be linked to straight or documentary photography as he documents his fathers emotions.
